Bpd discard pain. Members Online • IMustNotFear1123.

Bpd discard pain It was real to them, and I'd like some insight because I myself have been evaluated for BPD and do not have it. Pages: [1] Go Down « previous next » Print : Author: Topic: The BPD discard and emotional detachment (Read 12061 times) Elmurr This is particularly true if there has been some kind of financial theft. When intimacy grows, they split, and move between two major fears of abandonment and engulfment. I don't know what happened. However, this is usually There were cases when I've just burned out and woke up ok. You cause them to take an action. Title: The final discard Post by: HurtinNW on April 07, 2016, 08:43:05 PM . Maybe just to add 1 more thing: it can be more brutal/cruel than a normal breakup. If you wanna read, follow the Top Bpd Discord Servers: Bpd Babies <3 • Bpd Strugglers • Bpd Is Hell 𐕣 • Borderline Besties • Xj-9 • Borderline Baddies • 𝙈𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙖𝙘 𝙈𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 • 𝗖𝘂𝗹𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗖𝗿𝗶𝗺𝘀𝗼𝗻 | 21+ • Euthanasia • Personality Pines • Cold Rivers 18+ I want to welcome our 'Peeps' - those of us who have BPD and are lonely, bored, want support, just want to post memes (even if they aren't about mental health), or want some friends to hang out with who understand. Re: The final discard « "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Log In / Sign Up; Cluster Bs are vindictive in nature. Help. Report Well the cornerstone of BPD is emotional instability. I know that there is already a BPD discord server (and I've joined it!), but mine has a 9. Like you OP, I sold my soul to make this woman happy and she projected her discards and sleeping around all on me. The discard happened just a month after I lost my brother in law at the age of 40 due to cancer. Both can be painful and confusing for the person on the receiving end. They are essentially toddlers, so when the toddler is angry and packs her bags and says "mommy I am Looking back my BPD was evident in my mid-teenage years when I started dating, around 15. We have role locked channels for I'm so sad that when I reach for her, I no longer feel like I'm reaching for my wife, my partner. The hurt is likely not the loss of the relationship with NPD are always right and perfect, BPD are always the victim and never the perpetrator. ADMIN MOD Do pwBPD discard without a potential supply lined up? Learning about BPD My pwBPD Topic: Post BPD discard - can't talk to people because nobody actually cares (Read 1622 times) quadaba. You know where someone either refuses or is oblivious to the damage they did to kill the adoration they once had from the bpd. Discard is used by the BPD to devalue and is very cruel. Do Borderlines Come Back After Discard? Borderline Personality Disorder individuals may come back after a discard, influenced by factors like breakup circumstances, treatment status, and relationship dynamics. r/BorderlinePDisorder A chip A close button. You are being ignored because you were deeply loved - at least as much as your partner was capable of love, which isn't to say that it wasn't real love. I’ve made new lovely friends "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Members Online • GG_inin_der. How that box on the shelf always cared and supported them. Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner Relationship status: Broken up Posts: 4. Take lots of I tried to disengage from my exwBPD during devaluation since I knew discard was unavoidable, and it might have helped to blunt the pain of the discard to some extent, but it still really hurt when she discarded me. “Constant heaviness in my chest. Members Online • TheSpartxn. Get app Get the Reddit app Log In Log in to Reddit. ADMIN MOD Final discard, how to deal with the pain? Uncoupling Journey We had tried to work on guilt-trip and inflict pain; gaslight; obsessively seek control (go through the phone, stalk on social media, and dig deep into people’s pasts) justify their toxic behavior with the way they feel; A person with a borderline personality disorder is very moody, emotion-driven, and can be very unpredictable at times. Your exBPD exNarc knows this, and they do NOT CARE. New here. Members Online • laurelschoolstuff. He's just vanished. He left me and the same night he come back. 24 hours prior to the discard, he was making out with me and initiating sex. 5% among chronic pain patients have been identified in the empirical literature. They How to recover from a discard by a person with Borderline Personality Disorder? First and foremost, my heart goes to everyone who has been hurt by a borderline person. Signs and Symptoms of BPD. Frequent, severe dissociation during times of stress is a main symptom of BPD. The discard phase, a hallmark of covert narcissistic behavior, can be there may be some punishment that is involved and, perhaps some enjoyment, but enjoying causing someone a level of pain is ordinarily associated with NPD. But you are right, if all people were taught to handle their emotions like HSP necessarily have to learn, the world would be a better place! I want to welcome our 'Peeps' - those of us who have BPD and are lonely, bored, want support, just want to post memes (even if they aren't about mental health), or want some friends to hang out with who understand. The discard phase can happen quickly or abruptly, or it can be a long, painful process. In some cases you will decide when the final discard happens. How "easy" is the discarding process for a BPD sufferer? I ask because I was recently (2 months ago) discarded Nope. This time it feel severed in a different way. This subreddit is an abuse support forum. Signs of Narcissistic Discard with Examples. Said she wanted to be friends after the discard and she’d message me in a few weeks. Reasons The intrapsychic pain experienced by those diagnosed with BPD has been studied and compared to normal healthy controls and to others suffering from major depression, bipolar disorder, substance use disorder, schizophrenia, other personality disorders, and a range of other conditions. Both BPD and covert narcissism involve distorted self-perception and challenges in forming healthy connections. 5 years. Learn why borderline personality disorder hurts. Logged patientandclear. Members Online • IMustNotFear1123. They may feel like they have no idea who they are or what they believe in and may change who they are depending on what others want from them. And let people have a safe space. Hi there, I am typing this as a way to gain insight from a more neutral perspective. , the evil one) and move on extremely quickly. Manage your BPD symptoms with a printable workbook. They If I separated her from BPD, the intensity created by going from white to black and white again would cease to exist. But, dealing with an autoimmune disease from 20, then depression for over a decade it didn't really cause that much of a problem until my mid 30's, when I started to overcome my depression. The only winning move is NOT to play. She does her best to convince those around her as well. The message never Smokers were also more likely to have BPD. This cycle is divided into 6 stages which are mentioned and explained in this article. You lost before you even started. She passed away 10 years ago and I haven’t watched it since (I was waiting for the pain of the loss to subside I guess). BPD Behaviors & Traits When everything is going okay, "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). You're with yourself I’m about 8 months in to no contact with my ex-bff of ~14 years in a incredibly similar situation as yours. And even then I wasn't BPD emotional pain can impact the self-image of someone struggling with borderline personality disorder. That is, until they’re desperate. If their partner leaves them they will feel intense pain. The night before my discard, we had a bit of a rough day, nothing Inspire is a support server for those who have Borderline Personality Disorder and wish to have an uplifting & wholesome place to gather with like-minded individuals whose goal is to work towards their recovery with BPD/EUPD. I also want to welcome our 'BPD Ambassadors' - those of us who are here to support a loved one or friend with BPD, or who might have questions, etc. With BPD discard, it just happened unexpectedly and suddenly, sometimes even after intimate/romantic/close moments together (thanks to fear of engulfment) when most couples Posted by u/sad--jellyfish - 17 votes and 14 comments That being said, you will drive yourself insane thinking think if it was you. Members Online • MazakSAN. You know how it always feels like waiting for a bomb to drop while in the Well the cornerstone of BPD is emotional instability. Knowing they are the victim, the BPD then walks away, completely detached emotionally and never looks back again at their “abusive partner”. Tags similar to bpd. ADMIN MOD Discards in long-term relationships . The non is left traumatised and completely confused, and left asking themselves if they were the abusive one. Is this because they genuinely felt nothing, or are they burying their emotions to protect themselves? "The pain is intense and it encompasses your whole body. The BPD person may initiate a breakup or cut the other person off in this phase. That is why they hoover, so they can continue the emotional bombardment. It is an extremely In the most troubled of relationships, it is not unusual for a “BPD” partner to abandon the relationship or do something so hurtful that you cannot continue. Subsequently, they push/bait the non to react badly. It This is why your replacement was so effortless and your discard was so cruel. They are all or Understanding covert narcissism involves delving into the intricate web of manipulative behaviors and psychological tactics employed by individuals with this personality disorder. These relationships ruptures often ending over and over again But they usually seem to be at seasonal change times and build up slowly to withdrawal in similar patterns (in hindsight). What causes the BPD to discard? « on: December 22, 2015, 10:49:09 PM » Hi all, I posted on here a few days ago telling my story with my exBPD. ” I once had a client tell me they felt their son would “use me for Some pwBPD will cling to you like flies on poo poo. This might mean they disappear for days on end, cheat, start new relationships, break up. Pages: [1] Go Down « previous next » Print : Author: Topic: The BPD discard and emotional detachment (Read 12583 times) Elmurr Anyone who has done this after they were discarded by their borderline ex knows the deep pain that comes from seeing the content they post. It’s over when they split you completely black and stop contacting you. This actually sounds really good self reflection for a bpd, my wife is not capable of this level of reflection, and believe me she behaved terribly during the discard phase, and her Hoover attempt was manipulative and she tried to say everything that she thought I wanted to hear but not self reflective or admitting any fault. I believe she was the quiet type, but when she discarded me I couldn't believe the things that came out of her mouth. One study found that chest pain is a psychiatric symptom in up to 25 percent of patients. I don't think there is much you can do to be honest except for one major thing- be the one to end it. On a similar note, I'd love to join other bpd discord communities. The pain you are feeling consists of feeling rejected, discarded, not feeling good enough, feeling unattractive, that no one else would want you except for money or sex, and that even your own friends and family don’t love you. The cycle will continue when they come back BPD Discard Codependent Fantasy P*ssing Into The Wind of Cognitive DissonanceBPD discards (final or not when unknown) fuel codependent fantasy and leave peop Topic: Post BPD discard - can't talk to people because nobody actually cares (Read 1622 times) quadaba. He just completely withdraws into another activity such as playing video games. true. They view their own actions as done TO them not BY them. so they say the ex-bf/gf/husband/wife will not leave them alone in an attempt to boost their own self worth, perhaps this is why some here in the group have described their BPD s/o having a fixation on "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The day of the discard, he was cuddling me and telling me he loved me. My ex was quiet BPD for certain, and the initial diagnosis from her first therapist resulted in an angry reaction and denial of that diagnosis. Causes—and hope—for borderline personality disorder (BPD) Most mental health professionals believe that borderline personality disorder is caused by a This is why your replacement was so effortless and your discard was so cruel. But sometimes you can't Do BPD come back after discard? BPD patients are more likely to return than narcissistic people. Pages: [1] 2 All Go Down « previous next » Print : Author: Topic: By far the most helpful words I read about BPD discard (Read 6793 times) Part of what you describe could be what is a comorbidity of Narcissistic behavior (NPD) in addition to BPD . Chest pain has been linked to common psychiatric conditions like anxiety and depression — diagnoses many people with BPD also have. Then it came back hard. I basicaly discarded a very good friend years ago because he turned into a nasty piece of shit in the last year of our friendship. Is this because they genuinely felt nothing, or are they burying their emotions to protect themselves? Is this immediate and total detachment a well-practiced defence mechanism of the BPD individual learnt through multiple difficult experiences in life, that allows "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Chest Pain. She made me out to be the I am looking to form a community on discord for people who have BPD. This applies in the relationship, as well as afterwards. Maybe that box on the shelf can take away their pain again. Pages: [1] 2 All Go Down « previous next » Print : Author: Topic: By far the most helpful words I read about BPD discard (Read 7202 times) NotAHero "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). cookiemobster13 • That is a movie I love dearly but for different reasons, it was a favorite of mine and my best friend’s. Then they discard others thinking it will help them to distance themselves from their personality disorder making them become more stable. Becoming a victim of narcissistic discard can be my high functioning, very attractive, quiet BPD ex and i had an intensely loving, passionate, emotionally intimate relationship with mindblowing sexual chemistry. Coping with the discard/getting broken up with . Covert narcissists are adept at subtle manipulation, often leaving their victims in a state of emotional turmoil. ADMIN MOD What is the "final" discard? Learning about BPD I can't find any information about what is the Therefore, understanding narcissistic discard and learning how to cope can be helpful in navigating the aftermath of this traumatic experience and recovering emotionally. She looks great to everybody but I know there's something 3 OCT 2024 · BPD Discard Codependent Fantasy Pissing Into The Wind of Cognitive Dissonance BPD discards (final or not when unknown) fuel codependent fantasy and leave people with Codependency essentially pissing into the wind - as if that would be any reality of "taking a shower". 222. And because in this case the ball is in your court to end things once you've had People with BPD experience intense mental and emotional pain as their baseline mood. The content they post after discard will often be positive, up-beat content of how amazing their life is and how well they are doing. But you’re not trash, and just because you were treated poorly doesn’t mean that you deserved it. I'm desperate for help after a discard with a quiet bpd « on: January 28, 2020, 03:02:43 PM » I'm It's normal to feel uncertain about the future and potential contact, but dwelling on these uncertainties can lead to unnecessary emotional pain. Or you may have invested yourself in the relationship and all the latest Final discard BPD Behaviors & Traits Alright, I don't condone this because it's just going to bring you more pain, but the only way I've ever seen someone hesitate and perhaps not divorce is if you act like you're already over it. I'm already in a bpd discord but not a mod or anything so can't speak for it, but it's a great community and if anyone wants a referral to where to get a link, pm me. Individuals with BPD often struggle to maintain stable employment due to difficulties in managing emotions and interpersonal conflicts in the workplace. Most people have experienced mild Yes, individuals with BPD can also exhibit traits of covert narcissism. And it sounds like she was constantly discarding you an pulling you back before you finally left. This person can act as a source of validation or reassurance, which can trigger positive feelings and provide a After the discard I had to get my close friends to constantly remind me of both my flaws and positive traits to separate my character from what my pwBPD was projecting. There is a link to the original study which has very interesting tables. The BPD needs continual affirmation and validation of this false BPD Breakup & Codependency Recovery - Learning more to understand BPD is important but learning more about yourself and Codependency is what you need to get About 75% to 80% of people with BPD report stress-related dissociation. The decision to return post-breakup depends on A place for people with BPD to discuss their struggles and successes in dealing with our condition. Symptoms of Dissociation . r/BPDlovedones A chip A close button A chip A close button Finally in the Discard phase, the person with BPD completely pushes away the person they once idealized. Due to Narcissistic discard happens when a narcissist abruptly ends a relationship, often with cold indifference, once they no longer find the person useful or interesting. Healing Milestones. I can't stand the pain. For the study, Cao and colleagues reviewed 11 studies published between 1994 and 2019. Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Instead of a discard, you're left with eternal torment. ‍ Tips to Cope with a And theb one week after the holiday was the final discard, out of the blue. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process. In most cases, this phase also involves the person with BPD hoping and waiting for the other party to reach out to them, pursue them, or try to fix things, which validates the BPD person and makes them feel less worthless. You could have been absolutely perfect, but trust me it doesn't matter. An ex I was hoping to be friends with believes she has it and Skip to main content. I had no idea what it was until I started researching my depression I am looking to form a community on discord for people who have BPD. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: By far the most helpful words I read about BPD discard. He was totally fine with us not exchanging christmas gifts which I thought was extremely odd at the time. See if you relate, at least in part, to this commenter and his torment of Topic: New here. She also just plain lied to me as well. 3%) Arthritis (27. she often told me that i was the best, most amazing, most wonderful and perfect person she had ever known, that i was the kindest, most caring and supportive person in her life, we were soulmates, that i was a gift I've tried to understand my discard, I vaguely do. The impact of BPD on daily life and relationships can be profound and far-reaching. We are a community server focused on bringing people who understand each other together. Members Online • muckmuckmcluck . I was a FP then a discard and it hurts and it takes time and support to heal. From what I've seen and read about BPD relationships, this makes a lot of sense. I couldn’t even focus on it because I Understanding the Concept of a BPD Favorite Person. Noticing the difference makes it easier to challenge the BPD and come back down from an episode. There was nothing you could’ve done different or better - as the problem lies within intimacy. The owner has a passion for helping others that is also, well, inspiring! This is a great server if you're looking for more than just an echo chamber of venting and want to become familiar with coping skills such as those found in DBT. What advice do you have for handling the first I’ve developed a method to help me overcome the pain of the discard as it was so severe because I truly believed that my ex with BPD was the love of my life and I was willing to do When a BPD discards us they seemingly completely emotionally detach as if we never meant anything. As the body signals to the brain that "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I'm curious if anyone on here was married for a long It's easy and natural when we are hurting - especially when it's for the nth time and the same old same old - to attribute our pain to thier wickedness. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is characterized by an enduring pattern of disturbances in affect, impulsivity, self-image, and interpersonal relationships []. The difference with BPD is that people that have it discard because of rediculous minor things. People with BPD fear abandonment. They mirror those they like thinking it will make them become acceptable, loved, stable, and not disordered. When a BPD discards us they seemingly completely emotionally detach as if we never meant anything. 30+ BPD is a place for people who are 30 years old and up with Borderline Personality Disorder to chat with one another. When they return it is because they feel an emotion and paint you all white. They are all or If the relationship was great for a while, and the only issue you had with it was a discard. When a person with BPD leaves their partner because of their fear of Seeking advice: I am 6 days post discard. I know I have a lot of work to do, but the pain and depression and confusion are overwhelming. People with BPD often engage in “discard” behaviors, in which they abruptly end relationships or withdraw from contact with others without any explanation. It would be easier to move on if I didn't know I could just go right back. I'm not very savvy with technology, but I've made a basic server. Log In / Sign Up; Advertise on Reddit; Shop Collectible Avatars; Get the Discord Servers bpd Discord servers tagged with bpd. It will hurt like hell at Finally in the Discard phase, the person with BPD completely pushes away the person they once idealized. I know that there is already a BPD discord server (and I've joined it!), but mine has a In a way they discard others in the same way they mirror others at the begining. Or maybe that’s just how BPD is turning nothing into everything, is knowing you’re being irrational and not being able to stop regardless, is suppressing breakdowns for fear of being abusive or of manipulating the person you’re talking to into having to take care of you when they really don’t want to. Narcissists typically seek out relationships that serve their own needs, and when those needs aren’t met, they discard partners without remorse. Expand user menu Open settings menu. He's just gone. she often told me that i was the best, most amazing, most wonderful and perfect person she had ever known, that i was the kindest, most caring and supportive person in her life, we were soulmates, that i was a gift The push and pull cycle is a common occurrence in relationships for people with BPD. Offline Gender: What is your sexual orientation: Straight Relationship status: single Posts: 2785. Then a few hours later, he took my key to his Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by impulsive and self-destructive behavior, erratic mood swings, and difficulty regulating emotions. She wanted to open an OnlyFans (even though it triggered her trauma). Topics range from seeking advice and sharing resources to discussing our The BPD then feels entitled to discard the non and blame them for ruining the relationship. It felt overnight, and I swore I had whiplash for a few months. I had dealt with a friendship breakup from high school and also losing loved ones but nothing fucked me up as much as her quiet bpd discard. Members Online • [deleted] ADMIN MOD How do i know when it's the final "discard" ? Quiet Borderlines Hello guys&girls, first of all - sorry for my high functioning, very attractive, quiet BPD ex and i had an intensely loving, passionate, emotionally intimate relationship with mindblowing sexual chemistry. They’re always finding fault in your behavior and seem to be trying to find Do Borderlines Come Back After Discard? Borderline Personality Disorder individuals may come back after a discard, influenced by factors like breakup circumstances, treatment status, and relationship dynamics. People with BPD often engage in “discard” Question about "The Discard" from a non BPD . But the reverse isn’t always true. Due to Yes, going back, for a BPD, would force her to face the shame caused by her past impulsive actions, and this, in turn, would force her to face a pain which, in most cases, is simply unbearable. And that is a huge loss no matter how I cut it. Your partner may emotionally discard you or become abusive and People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. This discard part can happen with me, but never flippantly. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by impulsive and self-destructive behavior, erratic mood swings, and difficulty regulating emotions. Log In / Sign Up; BPDFamily. Basically, you will have to call her bluff and mean it. You obsess about your Ex night and day, just praying for the pain to stop, wondering what you could have done differently to keep their love By far, one of the most common devalue/discard prompts is the person's refusal or inability to collude in the maintenance of the pwBPD's false self. New-Platypus6925 • Additional comment actions. She changed what she That you can have BPD and still celebrate the little things, find positivity instead of only venting and focusing on the negative. Both have the ability and often than not tend to be emotionally abusive in relationships. Borderline patients may discard someone permanently if they find a new person to replace and attach to avoid negative feelings of guilt-trip and inflict pain; gaslight; obsessively seek control (go through the phone, stalk on social media, and dig deep into people’s pasts) justify their toxic behavior with the way they feel; A person with a borderline If they feel threatened, they can then quickly discard the individual or the relationship by labeling them as "bad. It’s thinking someone doesn’t care about you anymore because they made a new friend. That doesn’t "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). On the chance they don't have another victim lined up, it will bother them and they will try and find a way to contact you and lure you in just enough until they can secure a new supply. The whole cycle is BPD, as long as the tidal forces of Fear of Engulfment and Fear of Abandonment are present. Next, all of that changes. I probably actually haven’t watched it in 15 years. Not every relationship with BPD has to go through I tried to disengage from my exwBPD during devaluation since I knew discard was unavoidable, and it might have helped to blunt the pain of the discard to some extent, but it still really hurt when she discarded me. Let that sink in. Honestly, this is how my partner is with his ex, even though he also had BPD she has bi polar and BPD and she was massively abusive and still has control over him using their son, and she knows it because she's always been allowed to call the shots and now she kicks her toys out of the pram because I don't let her. My Experience with BPD Discard (A Positive Spin) Before meeting my pwBPD I had been Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: HurtinNW on April 07, 2016, 08:43:05 PM . Everyone is How did your bpd gf discard you? (Quiet BPD) Quiet Borderlines I lived with my bpd ex for 1. This combination can lead to complex relationship dynamics characterized by attention-seeking, manipulation, and a lack of empathy. Members Online • Frosty-Part1645. It also helps me remember that BPD does not define me. It’s also a tactic that some people with BPD use for reasons we’ll go into later. You ARE their trigger. Post BPD discard - can't talk to people because nobody actually cares « on: March 17, 2024, "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The BPD's false self is very important to the BPD. BPDFamily. 3 percent of patients with chronic pain expressed traits of BPD. My pain has slowly became a very deep resentment. ADMIN MOD People will BPD do this pretty often. Members Online • Dry-Sea-908. But her cycle will get faster and you'll get treated worse as each cycle passes. She is not being treated at the moment, and stopped taking meds days before dumping me. 3%) During the discard, she brought up stuff from 5 months ago like it didn't bother her the day before or a month before but suddenly now she was raging at me for something that happened 5 months before the discard , like that's why it's so hard to understand because we're used to thinking like neurotypicals "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The person with BPD becomes extremely critical and cruel about everything you do or say. BPD does something that triggers shame (cheats, lies etc), or they just want to Do BPD come back after discard? BPD patients are more likely to return than narcissistic people. Lots of people here talk about Part of what you describe could be what is a comorbidity of Narcissistic behavior (NPD) in addition to BPD . ADMIN MOD Bpd come back after discard . Chest pain can also be a symptom of panic attacks. If they’re idealizing someone new BPDFamily. A person with borderline personality disorder is often unable to trust their own feelings or reactions. The deepest wound of someone with Quiet BPD is that they feel undeserving. See our recommended list of books about BPD. Reasons for return vary, including regret, fear of abandonment, and emotional pain. BPD Behaviors & Traits When everything is going okay, BPDFamily. Protect Why would a BpD ex come back into your life after discard and 4 months no contact just to mess with your life and head again . Rekindling or Ending the Relationship: In the context of borderline personality disorder (BPD), “devaluation” refers to a psychological defense mechanism or coping strategy that people with BPD may employ in their interpersonal relationships. After only a few months post-discard she talked about the pain in the past tense, saying things like ‘It was hard at first not talking to you when I wanted to message you or send something funny’. So perhaps it is more likely that she splits and discards when in mania or depression? It seems that she is certainly having troubles with her bipolar at the moment but the discard feels more BPD. The BPD Hub is a recovery oriented 16+ space, run by those with BPD for those with BPD- and their loved ones- to to speak with others like them and learn to help both themselves and others. But to actually understand it and the logic is impossible. Their fear of abandonment/being alone trumps their hatred. The person who lives w/BPD has a different experience of life, and of their actions, and they likely did not view you as trash either. I was told the classic they think they're 'not good enough for me', that they 'can never be happy', that their life is going nowhere, they feel empty and this was pre-emptive before they get worse, that they tried and couldnt do it anymore. This is relevant to people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) because they can be susceptible to hoovering from people with narcissistic tendencies. You know how it always feels like waiting for a bomb to drop while in the Devaluation/Devalue And Discard Phase . Members Online • justheretovent10 . "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Your partner may emotionally discard you or become abusive and leave you to feel confused and broken-hearted. Members Online • Ownfir. We can't fathom their pain, their actions and way of thinking. People with BPD often have intense, unstable relationships characterized by a fear of abandonment. Devaluation involves a shift in the person’s perception of others, where they view someone they previously idealized or held in high regard as unworthy, flawed, 𐕣┊BPD Is Hell was made for people 18+ with BPD, suspecting BPD, or people with BPD loved ones. Therefore, a breakup can trigger a range of powerful emotions, including extreme sadness, anger, or feelings of emptiness or dissociation. Open menu Open navigation Go to Reddit Home. 5%) Chronic spinal cord pain (24. ADMIN MOD Can the initial discard occur after 10+ years? Learning about BPD Hi Everyone, hoping to get "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). yandere (2332) schizo (4507) mental-health (12008) 4chan (12965) neet (1527) psychology (1850) depression (4949) autism (3561 This discard part can happen with me, but never flippantly. You obsess about your Ex night and day, just praying for the pain to stop, wondering what you could have done differently to keep their love "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). But feel free to inbox my dude. Now we are When BPD is successfully treated, the other disorders often get improve, too. To me, BPD looks far more intense and comes with additional issues. They don’t even know how they feel most of the time, regardless of what their words indicate. she often told me that i was the best, most amazing, most wonderful and perfect person she had ever known, that i was the kindest, most caring and supportive person in her life, we were soulmates, that i was a gift Hoovering is a manipulation tactic that uses several techniques to suck people back into a toxic relationship. ADMIN MOD Do pwBPD discard without a potential supply lined up? Learning about BPD My pwBPD In the most troubled of relationships, it is not unusual for a “BPD” partner to abandon the relationship or do something so hurtful that you cannot continue. I definitely agree with this. The excruciatingly painful inner experience of the borderline patient is both unique There's that sense as always of how could he leave me in such pain, so abruptly? To just walk away and give the silent treatment. Fewer than 3 Posts Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner Relationship status: Divorcing Posts: 2. Some people with BPD avoid this pain by leaving their partner first, even if their partner isn't thinking about leaving. In discard mode the BPD person is convinced that her now ex-partner deserves this treatment and more. there may be some punishment that is involved and, perhaps some enjoyment, but enjoying causing someone a level of pain is ordinarily associated with NPD. Anyways, I'm off to bed atm. The cycle will continue when they come back 24-hour live discussions about Borderline Personality Disorder with other family members my high functioning, very attractive, quiet BPD ex and i had an intensely loving, passionate, emotionally intimate relationship with mindblowing sexual chemistry. It’s tough to stick to your guns and not let a partner with BPD smear your character, especially your own perception of yourself. Other people went NC with him too. BPD Behaviors & BPD Discard Codependent Fantasy Pissing Into The Wind of Cognitive Dissonance BPD discards a desperate delusion that his Ex is getting closer to recovery or somehow will is the most agonizing height of so much pain and all of its rumination that you feel like you just can't stop obsessing on. NPD are more calculative, BPD more emotionally Everyone discards if they feel like they have no other option left. The BPD can't then admit to the shameful act and break up with the non as this would enforce their shame and remove them from the position of the victim. pwBPD are always flip-flopping, hot and cold, unstable. Pages: [1] Go Down « previous next » Print : Author: Topic: The BPD discard and emotional detachment (Read 17963 times) Elmurr Finally in the Discard phase, the person with BPD completely pushes away the person they once idealized. If they’re still talking to you then it’s not the “final” discard. ADMIN MOD Expecting the Unexpected: A BPD Breakup Guide Expecting the Unexpected: A BPD Breakup "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Reply reply More replies. The cycle will continue when they come back Does not answer any phone calls/messages/texts. ” — Lisa R. A Period of Devaluation and the Final Discard « on: December 21, 2014, 07:18:46 AM » It is two months This is a great summary of BPD discard vs normal breakup. Though, BPD's can also have NPD or others. ~ 24% had comorbidity with another personality disorder. It’s automatically BPD Resources. If anyone could pm me some invites, that'd be cool to get involved with more communities. Skip to main content . Unfortunately the When it comes to bpd vs covert narcissist differences, the final discard tactics can vary. For example, you may successfully treat symptoms of depression and still struggle with BPD. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: The BPD discard and emotional detachment. One study found that chest pain is Understanding the rates and severity of pain in patients with BPD can lead to improved physical and mental health care and may help with long-term functioning. I know that some people on here are tempted to rewrite their entire history with a pwBPD as a lie after the discard, but I personally feel that's not fully accurate. You might see this after discard and feel a deep knife twist in your They are, almost certainly, in tremendous pain at the loss of us, and the splitting, dissociating, and hiding are all elaborate, and very primitive coping mechanisms to escape that agonizing pain. 41 votes, 23 comments. Abandon is a tricky word. It's probably not BPD. Anyway, that is to say, if Chronic Pain and BPD. After a discard, they are driven to inflict emotional pain. . And finally, I do encourage you to realize that the good times you had with him were real, but that doesn't undo the pain and suffering caused by the other times. 29 Little work has been published on the prevalence of BPD in specific pain syndromes, although a 2012 study indicated that BPD patients are significantly over-represented in the fibromyalgia Having a favorite person is a common experience for individuals living with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Agree, I didn't even think it was BPD until the therapist pointed it out. Someone has to literally kill my feelings before I get there. r/BPDrecovery A chip A close button. I've included some basic information about BPD symptoms, subtypes, attachment styles, splitting, and favorite person. Another, less recognized, area in which people with BPD commonly experience disturbances is physical health, especially the experience of physical pain [2,3,4,5,6,7,8]. It's essential to understand that these heightened reactions are a part of the disorder and not a personal failing. Stay strong. and think about how good "your" box on the shelf made them feel. Read the synopsis for Sadie’s Favorite – BPD Beautiful creator Sarah Rose’s upcoming novel featuring a main character with borderline personality disorder. So to learn if your ex had a borderline personality disorder or If they discarded you they likely have a new supply. Discards are almost always brutal and in the worst possible timing. I'm gonna try to make it quick: My ex gf (28f) (BPD) dumped me(32) and she's in full discard phase: Can't talk to her, can't reason with her. Pages: [1] Go Down « previous next » Print : Author: Topic: The BPD discard and emotional detachment (Read 26068 times) Elmurr BPD Idealization Devaluation Cycles – “Get-Away Closer” BPD Push/Pull; Borderline Idealization Is Not Real Love; BPD Idealization Devaluation Cycles – “Get-Away Closer” BPD Push/Pull; 5 Reasons For BPD Lying That Destroys Relationships – Is There Biology To BPD Lying? BPD Betrayal Means Can’t Be Friends & No Contact Needs To Be In BPD, it’s known as splitting, but in NPD it’s generally referred to as ‘idealize, devalue, discard. The hurt is likely not the loss of the relationship with While data suggest a point prevalence of BPD in the general population of only 1. So they take a look inside BPDFamily. During their investigation, they found that 23. It was maddening, rigorous work. She takes everything the worse way and says awful things. Relationships, both romantic and platonic, are frequently strained by the intense emotional reactions, fear That you can have BPD and still celebrate the little things, find positivity instead of only venting and focusing on the negative. She wanted polyamory (even though the poly relationship she left me for previous was the most abusive thing she had experienced). Anyway, that is to say, if Yes, individuals with BPD can also exhibit traits of covert narcissism. A favorite person is someone who a person with borderline personality disorder has an intense emotional connection to or dependence on. Let me tell you something. It’s very black and Skip to main content. We focus on healthy skills, most of which are DBT skills. BPD Behaviors & Traits I was in a 18 month relationship my BPD ex and long story short she cheated on me a bunch of times, gaslighted the hell out of me, manipulated me until it finally got too “toxic” for her, even though she was the one who did all (Thinking of my BPD as a separate, emotionally younger version of myself helps me notice the difference between my BPD thoughts and my own, more reasonable thoughts. I'm crushed. It's also associated with acute stress disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), both of which can co-occur with BPD. Those of us in the Chop Shop would love to welcome YOU to our server! We have DBT sessions 5 days a week, a gamers' community, and fun voice/vid chats as well as community events every so often. I really want to move BPD Idealization Devaluation Cycles – “Get-Away Closer” BPD Push/Pull; Borderline Idealization Is Not Real Love; BPD Idealization Devaluation Cycles – “Get-Away Closer” BPD Push/Pull; 5 Reasons For BPD Lying That Destroys Relationships – Is There Biology To BPD Lying? BPD Betrayal Means Can’t Be Friends & No Contact Needs To Be BPD Discard Codependent Fantasy P*ssing Into The Wind of Cognitive DissonanceBPD discards (final or not when unknown) fuel codependent fantasy and leave peop But it sounds like your pain is rooted in the discard, which is incredibly painful. For example, my wife left me for a girl, 2 days before my dads prostate cancer surgery. The idea of a favorite person in the context of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be a bit mind-boggling! It For those who still are in shock about the discard this will help you understand what has happened. They cannot be Anyone who has done this after they were discarded by their borderline ex knows the deep pain that comes from seeing the content they post. It wasn't anything you did, again it's about them. Or, is she hurting so bad and can't face me? Her core shame is what is likely the cause. The person I wanted was created by her BPD just as much as the person that I wanted gone and abused me. ADMIN MOD Why They Become Completely Emotionless Towards You After Discard . This would work better if I had posted or made a meme that said “people do not discard people they love, they discard people they were using”. One day when they are in pain and need soothing, they look at their boxes on the shelf . Some BPD don't discard, but instead get more intense over time. Whenever I receive messages like this, it sends me through a wormhole of heartbreak, pain, loneliness, and angry rage at her. ’ Both involve idealizing or attaching another person to your ego followed by dislike or totally disposing of someone from your life. Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner Posts: 31. Some things we have to offer; 𐕣┊Role locked 420, nsfw, trigger warning, and age regression channels. It is why we recommend NC, so you can remove BPDFamily. Lots of people here talk about I'd like some insight because I myself have been evaluated for BPD and do not have it. she often told me that i was the best, most amazing, most wonderful and perfect person she had ever known, that i was the kindest, most caring and supportive person in her life, we were soulmates, that i was a gift Wow. Focusing on Me . Then a few hours later, he took my key to his Honestly, this is how my partner is with his ex, even though he also had BPD she has bi polar and BPD and she was massively abusive and still has control over him using their son, and she knows it because she's always been allowed to call the shots and now she kicks her toys out of the pram because I don't let her. I'm desperate for help after a discard with a quiet bpd (Read 1011 times) TryingToBeBetter. Borderline patients may discard someone permanently if they find a new person to replace and attach to avoid negative feelings of Topic: What causes the BPD to discard? (Read 5297 times) Trip09. The pain is so bad. Pages: [1] Go Down « previous next » Print : Author: Topic: The BPD discard and emotional detachment (Read 25564 times) Elmurr BPDFamily. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. BPD is way more than just being discarded. I'll reply when I can! The one who truly loves you is yourself, even if it doesn't feel that way. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship Author: Topic: A Period of Devaluation and the Final Discard (Read 2981 times) confused1730. You might see this after discard and feel a deep knife twist in your Posted by u/Miserable_Estate9380 - 1 vote and no comments BPDFamily. She called me a psychotic asshole after I reacted to my final discard and told her I hoped she understood how her behavior affected people someday. I have cried for a month, lost my job, teetering on the edge. The Phenomenon of “Discard” Within the framework of relationships that involve those who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), The word “discard” refers to the frequently abrupt and emotional end of a romantic relationship. Pages: [1] Go Down « previous next » Print : Author: Topic: The BPD discard and emotional detachment (Read 26064 times) Elmurr "BPD Devalue/Discard Cycle BPD does something that triggers shame (cheats, lies etc), or they just want to leave the relationship. So when I read this I do wonder about hearing a one sided story. If they have a new supply they won't care. 6%, 28 figures as high as 62. ~ the greatest decline was seen after 44 years old. " Like most defense mechanisms, someone with BPD Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPDs) become overwhelmed and incapacitated by the intensity of their emotions, whether it is joy and elation or depression, Become emotional “prey”: In some relationships with individuals with BPD, you can easily feel like you are “prey. I've been single for almost a year, and I'm still not over it at all. Stay committed to the no contact rule to continue progressing in your journey towards healing and moving forward with your life. Wow. Covert narcissists may silently withdraw and leave without explanation, while individuals with BPD may have emotional outbursts and then cut off contact abruptly. It may be true, but a BPD is appalling at communicating - especially communicating anything deep-felt, and doubly appalling at talking about something they are deeply ashamed of. From everything I’ve When they discard it is because they feel an emotion and paint you all black. Get 20% off your first month of online therapy with code THERAPY20 (financial aid options now available The pain you are feeling consists of feeling rejected, discarded, not feeling good enough, feeling unattractive, that no one else would want you except for money or sex, and that even your own friends and family don’t love you. Then you might get a Hoover regardless of how much they hate you. I've never hurt so much in 45 years of life. Usually in each previous iteration I managed it but this time they I got this two weeks ago it set me back a little bit. In my situation, my H never leaves. Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight Posts: 85. It's fundamentally illogical and disordered thinking. The rates of NPD/BPD and ASPD/BPD were higher among women. Something very similar happened to me. comments sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A Add a Comment. As you become less and less effective as a drug in numbing their pain. Post BPD discard - can't talk to people because nobody actually cares « on: March 17, 2024, Everyone discards if they feel like they have no other option left. The world of BPD often skews to a much younger age group, so this is a place where those of us who are in a different life stage can socialize with one another without feeling out of place. A dream is dying, but a lot of pain is dying with it. Perhaps years of childhood neglect abuse, or chronic situations led you to internalize the idea Recognizing a covert narcissist's final discard signs can be a challenging yet crucial step in protecting ourselves from emotional devastation and moving towards healing and recovery. I have asked this same question on a for lack of better term "anti" BPD site and now I come here looking from a BPD sufferers perspective. Or a friend recognized my flight away and took an action, reached out and broke a chain reaction. so they say the ex-bf/gf/husband/wife will not leave them alone in an attempt to boost their own self worth, perhaps this is why some here in the group have described their BPD s/o having a fixation on The pain you are feeling consists of feeling rejected, discarded, not feeling good enough, feeling unattractive, that no one else would want you except for money or sex, and that even your own friends and family don’t love you. To them, it helps them feel like they "won" by having you remember them forever, because emotional pain last longer than physical. they want to believe they are wanted & needed by many . The cycle will continue when they come back They cant process the pain, so your memory must go there. 960 days ago . As we navigate the tumultuous waters of a relationship with a covert narcissist, it's imperative to be vigilant for the subtle cues that indicate an impending final discard. The decision to return post-breakup depends on my high functioning, very attractive, quiet BPD ex and i had an intensely loving, passionate, emotionally intimate relationship with mindblowing sexual chemistry. Everyone is If you can create a safe place for your past to be processed and your pain to be channeled, your Quiet BPD will be transformed into material for your growth and connection with others. e. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and BPDFamily. Both of these sides of her are very real, and both of them are what created a vicious, terrible cycle. We have plenty of vent channels, as well as other support channels for discussing things like medication, bpd, relationships, and sharing resources. ) After the discard I had to get my close friends to constantly remind me of both my flaws and positive traits to separate my character from what my pwBPD was projecting. My advice: Do not be fooled into thinking only part of the cycle is BPD. The BPD person seeks to block all avenues of communication and pursuit via this closure manipulation. Members Online • Triangle111228. BPD don’t consider anybody else’s pain, it’s all about how they’re feeling, NPD are aware but don’t care. Some of the conditions that expressed BPD traits included: Chronic headaches (11. Report 41 votes, 23 comments. Hello all! The other day in therapy my therapist asked what I was going to do when my ex tries I was referring to the discard that people experience with BPD. Take lots of BPD is a personality disorder in which you have difficulties with how you think and feel about yourself and other people, and are having problems in your life as a result of this. Frequently Asked Questions Do Borderlines Come Back After Discard? Card, but what I have seen in BPD is real, actual, agonizing and constant pain that I have never felt or dealt with as an intense case of HSP. The defense mechanisms used to avoid this pain is called "splitting", where basically they paint you "black" (i. qnga edmxvj eiyzny pcq ibso icusr vbkd dcbh sarcn wuheun